Half of our year have suddenly started to try and lose weight and they’re all really thin, and it’s kind of sad, but I knew it was coming one day.
I would kill myself. However, I don’t want to fail and end up hurting my family, James, or my friends. I understand suicide may hurt close friends and family, and may shock others who don’t know me. I wish there was an easier way to go about this. I wouldn’t want to attempt at home in case someone comes home and finds me, especially if I’m alive. I would rather go out and OD and never go back. However if this failed, I would have worried my parents and it would be hard to explain what happened. I’m not going to commit suicide soon, I don’t think. I’ve stopped self harming thanks to a deal with Beth. I can’t thank her enough. I’m still trying to lose weight, I want to be skinny, who doesn’t? I’m starting Taekwondo again, which will keep me fit, the once I’m physically fit, I may be able to go for jogs. However my parents are VERY STRICT on the thought of me exercising or trying to lose weight. I’m surprised they’re letting me start Taekwondo to be honest.
I don’t know what to do. I feel the same as I used to, and I have no one to speak to. My only person I used to speak to was Miss Broughton and Beth. In 8 weeks I’ll never see them again. It’s upsetting.